Acceptance of my Feminity

I raise my my head high..
Proud of all the scars I bear..
Proud of all the lessons i learnt..
Proud of being emotional and expressive,
Yet strong enough to be able to
Recover and heal!
And why not?
That's what makes me a Woman.

That is a difference between a King and a Queen.
The difference between Duties and Compassion
The difference between Obligations and Empathy
The difference between Server and Mother
The difference between Authority and Grace!

Abyss And Infinity

I'm sitting here, just doubting all the feelings you claim to have for me.. A part of me blindly believes it.. I swear its a bliss to be loved by you.. But then, is this how you love? Tell me, love, for I am not able to adapt to your definitions..

Come here, stand in front of me, look into my eyes.. You'll see dazed iris just dancing.. Following your look.. Following you.. I wish I didnt have a brain.. I would have been exactly the way you wanted me to be.. But its me, love, my brain gets hurt.. Breaks my heart.. I hate my brain for expecting that which you can't give.. It has a bad habit of forgetting.. It forgets what you are and what you can be.. It just fantasises and runs way beyond reality..

I am on my knees.. All yours.. Ruined.. The damage is done, love.. Proud of all the good and bad marks I have on me because of u.. The scars make me restless when I wish to sleep and push me into trance when I need to be all awake.. Bleeding endlessly.. Burning and wasting like an immortal..

My heart and my brain have become two mutually exclusive entities.. They  are two individual organisms dwelling inside me .. Walking in opposite directions - each in their own kinda abyss..

This darkness shatters every segment inside of me.. The hollowness which mocks me with hallucinations.. I am screaming and when you can't hear, I swear, no one can.. When u can't see, Absolutely no one can.. Its you I look forward to.. Like you are god.. Like you are the only one left.. Like without you I am consumed dangerously in my own self.. Do you see it? I don't have a monster.. People think i am pure 'cause I don't have a monster.. But they don't realize that I am a monster.. Hungry for my own self.. I don't need another monster..

Sometimes I doubt myself more than I doubt you.. Is there something wrong in me? See? I guess my monster-theory is right..

I am writing into infinity now.. And you know what the irony is? Infinity is nothingness.. So its shallow.. But filled with a lot of nothingness..

Inapposite

There are blood stains everywhere
And the heat is burning the veins in my head
I wrote a letter to the demons
They'll come anytime for me

I guess this world ain't for me
As I tried my best to be a human
Well, they can dwell on minds, you know?

But I did a mistake..
I didn't know how to be a parasite
'Cause imma monster
I eat
I don't dwell
I kill
Don't dwell

I live
Let live
But I don't know how to ruin
What they did to me, it didn't teach me either
So I dialed the number to the monster world
And they'll come anytime for me

I run.. And if I'm losin' I run faster
They just pull me to hell with them
Yeah, that's how they win

I'm not innocent
No I'm not
'Cause imma monster
But not a parasite
I eat
I don't dwell
I kill
Don't dwell